More Miracles

Good Morning! It seems that it was a lifetime ago since I last sent an update regarding our son, Graham, and his miraculous recovery. In fact, November 12 marked the two month anniversary of his accident and the beginning of our new lives. I was tempted to refer to the past two months as new chapters in our lives, but I’m certain that we’re into a whole new book with a new Author and changed characters. Here’s the abridged version:
Tammi and I returned to Twin Falls a few weeks ago after Graham was discharged from speech and physical therapy. Originally, we had been told and anticipated that he would be in therapy for at least six weeks and that his recovery would take three to six months, so this news was truly miraculous. Leaving Graham in Phoenix was scary and heart-aching, but I’ve really toughened up and quit crying by the time we reached Ely!
Prior to leaving, we met with Dr. Zabramsky, the amazing neurosurgeon who had performed the brain surgery on Graham.. The nursing staff had informed us of his outstanding reputation as a surgeon, but had also warned us of his frank and brusque manner. We had experienced both in the Critical Care Unit, but he had already moved to our “angel” list, so we were anxious to see him again. In his office, he showed a complete different side as he teased Graham about his bizarre scars and hairdo. After his examination, he described the recovery as “dramatic “ and offered to show us Graham’s recent CT scans. With the Dr’s. guidance, it was easy to see the 3 plates, 16 screws, and a beautiful brain!
Graham had to go back to the hospital for a blood test as they were concerned that his sodium levels stay at a certain level that would promote healing of his brain. It was ironic that throughout his stay there that his greatest fear was a needle, which paled in comparison to scalpels, i.v’s, staples, and everything else he had encountered. When we arrived at the lab, he insisted that I go in with him so that he could hold my hand when they pricked him. I performed admirably and will continue to be available for that tough duty whenever he needs me!
Last Sunday, I returned to Phoenix to spend the week addressing a number of issues related to Graham’s health and the continuing investigation and court case. While driving there, I was uncertain about whether I’d made the right decision to return. Graham was not too excited about me reclaiming the spare bedroom in his house and was certain that he didn’t need my help. I believe that my words to him were something like “I’m your Dad and I know exactly what I need to do.” With strong resolve and not a clue about what I needed to do, I headed south!
I arrived in Phoenix at about 2:30am and couldn’t sleep after a 14 hour diet of foo- foo coffee, energy drinks and sunflower seeds. After a few hours of sleep, I got up earlier than any of the other occupants, although that’s not a big achievement in a house of college boys. As I have learned to do, I praised God for His miracles and prayed for His guidance, without any parameters! That was always easy to talk, but is now easy to walk!
And let the miracles begin….
· John Thompson, the lead detective in our case, called our house in Filer because he wanted to share news of the investigation with us. Tammi informed him that I was in Phoenix so Graham and I met with him later that afternoon. It was enlightening…and sickening…to read the 911 dialogue, the witness interviews, and especially the interviews with the defendants.
· On Tuesday, I took Graham to his follow up appointment with the neuropsychologist who had previously assessed Graham’s cognitive and psychological state. He reported that Graham had scored in the 95th percentile or above in all categories for his age and education peer group….miraculous!
· Tuesday was also my birthday and Graham treated me to dinner and a movie. I received numerous kind messages that day with a few who reminded me, thoughtfully but needlessly, that this was probably my best birthday ever! It was!
· On Wednesday, Graham and I met with the prosecutor assigned to this case. She seems to be very experienced and knowledgeable, but we are afraid that she is a victim of a system that over emphasizes efficiency, both in terms of time and cost. There is consideration of offering plea agreements to the defendants, which we neither understand nor support. We will continue to follow on this, but will leave it up to the ultimate Judge.
· I took Graham to classes on Thursday and had the opportunity to meet again with his advisor. As I mentioned earlier, the staff and faculty at ASU have been very supportive and Graham is still on schedule to graduate this spring…miraculous!
I returned to Twin Falls on Saturday night, having attempted to drive back via the scenic route through northern Arizona and Utah. Unfortunately, I missed most of the scenery as my departure was delayed by a bathroom that I absolutely had to clean before leaving! It was what a Dad had to do!
As this will probably be the last of my Graham updates, I am inclined to share a few thoughts that I hope to even come close to doing them justice via e-mail. I would prefer to deliver them in person, but I communicate best in the middle of the night and many of you probably wouldn’t join me then!
Our first miracle is Graham’s life and recovery. Our only regret is that the incident happened, but we have no regrets for any moment since as each minute brought one simple miracle after another.
Our second miracle is you…and you…and you! The prayers, love, and support that we received from family, friends, and strangers from literally around the world has been amazing. We only wanted and asked for your prayers and you delivered those and so much more! Thank you for the gifts of your love however you expressed it.
Another miracle for us is the gift of Perspective. I am renewed in my focus on what is truly important in my life and how I live. My God, my family, and my friends are all that I am. I love better, serve better, and live better! I learned this in a humbling and difficult way, but I am certain it was necessary for me. I pray for each of you to be a quicker study than me!
For today, I know that God is Great, Graham is great, and we (you’re now a part of that “we”) are great! Love from the Stanley’s XOXO